help me believe

Life is not fun, love is not heaven,
still we keep on telling us that it is,
since you can't escape this life,
this is the only alternative you have,

if illusion is magic we all are magician,
we all live in illusion created by our mind,
it's the only thing we believe,

i always tried to gather things,
but then i realized they were never mine,
i can't control them, it's there wish to come to me,
when people want me, i want to be with them,
but then my soul felt ignored,
and called me back.

when i see others happy i smile for a moment,
but then i think why ain't i have something to smile about,
when i don't see others all i wish is to make them happy.

i can always see beauty from my eyes,
why can't i feel it just standing and eyes closed.
is it that i can't see my own beauty and happiness,
what am i, a blind
not from eyes but my mind has gone blind.