Lovestory

I first saw her looking straight in my eyes. I don't know what went through my mind but my eyes defied me, she was, or her eyes were able to hold my eyes. Still now after so much have been transpired between us i just can't forgot those eyes. Sometimes i really scared that those eyes will haunt me.

This was just the beginning i don't know whether she read some books, or she was master with hearts but i got hooked. May be, it was not her i was so void of love, i was under a free fall, so fragile i was that that pair of eyes was enough to hold me. Though i don't know whether that stop my fall or just given me some hope.

I had such interruptions in my fall before but the days that followed make this one special. Special for my deliverance or sealing my fate for my final crash. For how many days i don't know but it had never happened so lively for so many days before. Days keep on passing, i was walking the edge of weired and psycho, mad and insane, addiction and obsession. May be, this was not love, may be i just wanted to prove something, may i just wanted to achieve but whatever it was it kept me awake at night, it kept me hungry without appetite, it made me cry without tears, it made me shout without voice.

Then things moved i managed to talk to her not one but three times and still i remember perfectly, how my heart was beating third time also. She said we are friends, oh god , i would loved to be her friend, loved to be just her friend.

But all this is marred by some momentary spontaneous thought of my mind. At one point i think that she ain't that beautiful, my friends would say you could have got better. How can i forget the first time you tilt your head with your hairs just following your swing, your lips parted with tinted eyes to say 'hi'.

I am afraid that i won't be able to make it as real as i could feel it in my head.

bridge between hearts

I do love you,but you may not see it, may not feel it cause my love is so strongly binded to my, to my every body cell that it is not perceptible from surface. You will need to pierce my heart through your fierce eyes, you need to cut me open to see my love.


Only way i can show my love are words but my love has so many different layers, so many different colours that no set of words at any point of time is able to bind it in a beautiful, comprehensible bundle for you.


I know its not your fault to not realize, to not see, to not feel my love, i know you sincearly from your heart tried to read me. But somehow unintentionally I always managed to hide my love. This because my love changes its shades every moment and this changing shade make you doubt identity, reality and even existence of my love for you.You think I loved you for some moments though my love for you has spread over every smallest divisible moment of my life.


It has become such an internal part of my behaviour that after initial moments you may not recognize, you may not be able to differentiate and hence able to feel it.


O Lord! O God! i have faith in my love just give me a way to show it as i see it in my mind.

How you want it

What Eklavya did?

Eklavya had a goal to become greatest archer in the world. He wanted best Guru in the world but couldn't get so he made a idol of him and in his heart he start beliveing it as his Guru and start his journey towards his goal.

What if you don't get it?

You love someone but your love doesn't rebound. Why don't you follow Eklavya? It's all in your mind and if you really beleive in it you can feel all the neurons stimulating the way love does. Of course you will miss the tangible part of it.

The big thing you will miss is the reactions of other person that makes love special. Why do you love someone not all. Because the power that external person has to touch and tickle your deepest of core where you yourself can never reach is love.

What is it?

Love is not attaining anything it is about giving and surrendring yourself. It's about giving your control to someone else still walk in control with those invisible strings.

Did Eklavya look for same thing?

Eklavya also give his strings to his guru but he didn't pull them. So Eklvaya from his mind keep on finding which string Guru might have pulled and keep on walking.

Alternative approch

But why to take this path when you know that Love of every human being has same DNA structure, it is how you perceive it, give your strings to someone else who will be happy to pull them.

introvert or shyness

In Cambridge Advance Learners Dictionary some words are described as approving some as disapproving.

The word i want to talk about is 'Introvert'. Dictionary meaning of introvert is some one who is shy, quiet and unable to make friend easily.

Firstly, is being introvert is a virtue(approving) or something to be ashamed of(disapproving). A introvert person should consider this as short coming since he is already shy. So a real shy person would never be able to accept his short coming in public on his own.

Can a person saying i am an introvert be really a introvert. If a shy person is not shy of his shyness what else could he be shy of. So saying that i am introvert or shy is a paradoxical statement.

Either these self proclaimed introverts means that they sometimes do enjoy there time alone(which everybody does) or they do take some time to make friends(but that doesn't makes you an introvert at least you are making friends may be not easily) or they just use it as an excuse to hide there inability to understand and justify there own actions(believe me no one always knows what they are doing).

Stop trying to identifying and typecasting yourself. Dream again and again chase them again and again. Lose yourself again find yourself again.

Inclusiveness

Social Inclusiveness is talked about now days in PM speeches and newspapers. Social fragmentation is the undeniable truth of society. Instead of terming it as demon and trying to eliminate this we should try to coexist with it in a way that all fragments can coexist cordially together.

First we should assume that fragmentation will exist and they cannot be blended together cause basic laws of nature like entropy and big bang theory suggests that things naturally do tend to get away from each other.

Now instead of trying to mould all these pieces into each other, or try to reshape them to fit each other if we could just provide a interface for them to connect, communicate and co-exist peacefully.

Social inclusiveness is not about joining and fusing different groups together. It is about providing a framework in which all pieces can exist co-operating without hindering each others space.